Breakfast

1/2 grapefruit

 1 slice whole wheat toast

8 oz skim milk

Lunch

3 oz lean broiled chicken breast

1 cup steamed zucchini

1 oreo cookie herbal tea

Mid Afternoon snack

the rest of the package of oreos

1 quart of rocky road ice cream

1 jar hot fudge

Dinner

1 loaf of garlic bread

1 large pepperoni and mushroom pizza

3 beers

2 milkyway candy bars

1 entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

Dieting Tips 1) If no one sees you eat it , it has no calories 2) If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out 3)When eating out with someone eles , calories dont count if you eat the same amount 4)Food used for Medicinal puposes NEVER count , hot chocolate ,brandy toast and sara lee cheesecake 5) If you fatten everyone around you, then you look thinner 6)Movie related foods dont count because they are simply a part of the entire entertainment experiance and not a part of ones personal fuel, milk duds ,popcorn with butter,junior mints and licorice 7)Cookie pieces contain no calories , the process of breakage causes caloric leakage **This joke is not intended to offend any one so please take no offence**